Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I am my own worst enemy.

I weighed in this morning at 237.5.  I wanted to cry. I am 90 lbs over what my ideal weight should be. (Though honestly, I think my “ideal” weight is a little on the low side and would be very happy just 50 lbs lighter).

The holiday season sucks. I had the best of intentions. But rather than One day for each holiday this is how things went.

Thanksgiving day- at my sister-in- law’s house with my husband’s family.
Saturday after Thanksgiving – Thanksgiving redux at my Sister’s house.

Then there were the countless Family dinners as my husband’s family had relatives come into town over the next three weeks from Florida and Missouri. (pot roast, roasted chicken, ziti etc.) Of course every dinner had to be followed by some sort of baked goodie that my mother in law made, and she’s the type of person who would have her feelings hurt if you turned down her cakes and cookies and such.

But through all of that I was fairly sane. I took small portions and held my own. The walking from all the Christmas shopping probably helped somewhat to equalize the damage.

But then things began to spin out of control. Here’s what the last week and a half looked like for me-

Christmas Eve- Dinner at my mom’s house so I could visit with my Grandparents. (Kielbasa, Pierogies, Sauerkraut, etc)
Christmas Day- Dinner at my house. We had a turkey and a ham and all the sides. My biggest downfall was that everyone who came brought cookies. That and my mother in law made a cheesecake.
Day after Christmas- My mother in law had to get away from her daughter’s relatives for awhile and came over to visit. She insisted on buying a pizza and sandwiches for everyone. I tried to be good and ordered a salad, but gave in and had a couple of slices. I ate some Christmas cookies.
Sunday after Christmas- I invited my mother to come over to watch a movie. We eat leftover Christmas dinner for lunch. I ate more Christmas cookies
Monday after Christmas- we visit my husband’s nieces and have lobster tails and steak followed by cannolis and cheesecake.

Monday through Thursday I continued to eat Christmas cookies every night. Ok I’ll be honest; sometimes I ate the cookies in the morning too instead of breakfast.

Back at work on Tuesday and Thursday the sales team buys us catered lunch. And more pastry trays.

New Year’s Eve- my mother in law brings over plates of food from the party she was at for us. My husband and I later finish a bottle of champagne
New Year’s Day- We went to my husband’s best friend’s house and had pizza and antipasto. I went home later and ate more Christmas cookies.
Day after New Year’s- we had Prime Rib at my mother’s house.
Sunday we were back at my in-law’s again for parmesan crusted chicken.

Monday (yesterday) I finally declared that enough was enough. We threw out the rest of the cookies. I told my husband to make sure the pizza his mother ordered earlier was gone by the time I got home from work, had a salad for lunch and cooked myself a sensible dinner.

I think I’ve come to the conclusion that my family is out to get me. Not intentionally I’m sure, but they are my nemesis when it comes to weight loss. It is my own fault, I try too hard to make sure that there is an equitable amount of time spent with each family; especially now that we have SAK I try to make sure that both families get to see him. Combine that with the fact that both my mom and my mother in law are old fashioned cooks who love to make big family meals and my people pleasing personality and you have the basic formula for an ever expanding waistline.

Now the out of town relatives are gone now. My mother-in-law and brother -in-law left this morning to head back to Missouri. This means no more baked goodies around. Also my mom is a little more understanding of the fact that I’m on a diet. My mom pretty much came out and told me that I was a fattie (but that is a rant for a different day). My husband says that he wants to lose too and will support my efforts, though that may only last until the Superbowl….

The biggest lesson I’ve had here is that I have to stop allowing myself to find excuses to give into over-eating. I can’t control what other people around me are eating, but I can control what I put into my own mouth. I have to “check myself before I wreck myself” *grin*. There is always going to be a reason that people are feasting. My body can’t tolerate that kind of eating. If I don’t want my son to be embarrassed of me when he’s older, I need to get it under control now.


  1. It is so hard to eat "right" when all around you are your "default" foods. I'm there with ya!

    Good luck on walking a different food path, even if that means being on a different meal path than the fam!

    Looking forward to following your weight loss journey!

  2. "I have to stop allowing myself to find excuses to give into over-eating. I can’t control what other people around me are eating, but I can control what I put into my own mouth."

    I really need to work on this, too. I had lost 25lbs slooooowly before I met my other half by eating better and exercising regularly; that went right out the window when we met, and for some reason I got it into my head that I had to match what he ate/drank. Go figure: gained back that 25, plus a good 25 on top of it. We can both do it, though - I have faith in us. ;)

    Welcome to the Healthy You Challenge! :)