Monday, May 23, 2011

Please come visit!

I felt like I needed to start over and re-create my blog. I don't want to focus solely on losing weight anymore. I have a lot of things going on and this just isn't my focus right now, which is partially why I stopped writing here.
Anyone who cares to follow me to my new home can click here.

I'm still going to be dieting and all that jazz and wilstill be talking about that when I feel the need, but the topics are going to be more broad based about what's going on in my life.

Hope it doesn't bore you!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Analysis of a derailed diet.

Well I am still incredibly busy these days.
But at least the scale is finally starting to cooperate (somewhat) after going off the strictly low-carb plan.
I know that lots of low-carb critics always warn you when going off of a low-carb diet that you are going to blow-up like a balloon, and I know that dedicated low-carbers often dismiss this phenomenon as being the result of people not gradually stepping up their carbs ad going on pasta and cupcake binges when they go off the diet.
My honest opinion? They’re both right.
Don’t get me wrong. I still think that the low-carb diet plan is the fastest and easiest way to lose weight. In fact I am still going to take a lot of the principles and apply them to what I am doing at the present moment. I am going to continue to avoid added sugars. No HFCS. No table sugar. No white flour, no white rice….
I am going to eat brown rice and whole wheat pasta. I am going to eat natural sugars occasionally in the form of whole fruit. I am going to be mindful of the calories I consume and try to keep myself at about 1200 calories a day. I am going to continue to make sure that I get enough protein and fat to keep me satisfied between meals and keep hunger at bay.
Right now I believe with my whole heart that this strategy is the only way I will be able to keep losing weight. I was doing great on the low-carb plan, when I was able to actually follow it the right way. And that is really the whole key. Low-carbing is easy, but you HAVE to follow- it exactly. There is NO cheating allowed. There is no margin for error. If you go over your allotted carbs even a little bit you have an intense craving for more and it takes unreasonable amount of will power to get back on track. If you can stick with it for about 4 or 5 days, that all goes away. But- every time you fall off the wagon, so to speak, it become harder and harder to get there.
And to be honest, that’s exactly where I found myself these past months. Following low-carb religiously I was able to lose 40 pounds in 6 months. I was psyched. It was awesome! People noticed that I was trimmed, healthier and happier.
So what went wrong? Those same people who asked over and over again how I was losing the weight never got “on-board” with the whole low carb lifestyle. They pretty much refused to support me. In some cases I got the distinct impression they were trying to sabotage me. I don’t know if it was intentional or subconscious or completely imagined. I do know that any time I had to eat anywhere other than my own home I was faced with food that I shouldn’t eat.
When my grandfather got sick last summer, I started spending more time at my mom’s to be with him. And I cheated.
When my grandparents passed away in the fall, my family gathered to comfort one another- I cheated.
When my mother in law came to town to visit for a few months she showed her love by cooking Sunday dinners, - I cheated.
When the holidays season rolled around and rich food was everywhere – I cheated.
When my husband went back to work and our schedules changed I found myself rushing to get my son home before 7:00pm with no time to even re-heat a meal. And I cheated.
All these moments of cheating caused my blood sugar to soar and plummet repeatedly. The cravings came flooding back and the steady progress I had so painstakingly worked for evaporated. All I was able to do was maintain my weight in the 220-225 range. The longer it stagnated, the harder it became to loose. Finally in these last months I pretty much gave up completely. I still paid lip service to trying to be healthier and get it under control, but the reality of the situation was that I often found myself eating pop-tarts or chocolate cake or donuts or pancakes or pasta…and the voice in my head whispered it was okay, that I could restart my diet tomorrow.
But tomorrow never came.
I stopped blogging as often, partly because my work policies changed and it became harder for me to post during the day. But also in part because I wanted to be honest here, and I couldn’t be honest with you when I wasn’t even really being honest with myself.
The last three weeks have been a real eye opener as I have participated in this work challenge. I realized how very little I move during the day. I realized that I really don’t eat enough veggies. When I logged everything for a few weeks it kind of put things into perspective a bit for me.
So why not go back onto the low-carb plan that I had so much success with?
That’s a hard question to answer. The best answer I can give you is that I just don’t want to. My blood sugar is fine, so I don’t feel I need to keep myself at 20 or 30 or 40 carbs per day anymore. I am still feeling intense stress both at work and at home and I don’t really have the will to overcome the hurdles of going through a two week induction again. I know as soon as I start to feel the “Atkins flu” I’ll give up and it will be more of the same nonsense that I’ve been lying to myself about.
Also - if I don’t have the support of the people around me, then I need a weight loss plan with greater flexibility in my food choices. That only really comes with counting calories.
So rather than restricting the quantity of my carbs, I’m going to simply limit myself to high quality carbs. My goal is to make sure that every bite I eat is as nutritious as possible. I will try to be mindful of the glycemic effect of the foods I eat. But the only real “rule” I am going to follow is to aim to eat 1200 or fewer calories.
I’ve been doing well so far. *fingers crossed*

Thursday, March 10, 2011

If at first you don't succeed...

Hi there,
I thought I should check in with y’all.

As you all know, I’ve been struggling. I had to take a step back and dedicate some of the energy I was putting into myself and my diet and turn that focus onto my family, particularly onto my child. I’m happy to say that the boy is doing better. He’s eating again, though still not as much as I would like, at least he is actually chewing and swallowing food at every meal now.

I think part of what triggered the most recent hunger strike was potty training. Seems the boy is somewhat of a genius and put together that if he drinks a lot he has to pee a lot. Then he started holding his poop because it got hard to pass and he became constipated. This caused him to have a belly ache and he lost his appetite. Cue food refusal and weight loss.

Once I got things, er…moving again…. *ahem* he started to drink more and then began to eat a little again. He was back to weighing 28 pounds as of this morning up from the low point of 25 (though still a little down from his high of 29 lbs in November). So crises averted for now.
I wanted to thank all of you for the great support and words of encouragement you gave me through all of this. It really meant a lot that you were there thinking of me and I appreciate it tremendously.
Now for the damage control.

Stress eating combined with the high-calories meals I was making for the boy have caused me to bounce up to 228.


So I am going to try to do better. I’m giving up red meat for lent. And as I mentioned before my two bestest girl friends at work and I are doing the “New Weigh to Move, Eat and Live” challenge. We’re team Mission Slimpossible. And I bought a cute new pair of kicks for walking on my lunch break. Sculpt and Tone sneakers from Fila.

I am going to try to update y’all more often, but they changed my internet access at work recently, so I’m not sure how that will go…I guess they want me to actually work instead of blog- go figure!

I will definitely try to get an update up at least once a week though, I like it too much ‘round here…


Monday, February 28, 2011

Still plugging along....for now...

I'm still here and trying to do my best. I'm not really following any plan per se, but I'm trying to at least watch my portions.
The frustrating thing is that I've gained weight in just the last week. How is it that you can gain in a week what it takes you a month to loose? It doesn't make sense.

My office weight loss challenge began today. We're teams of 3 so I think that will help me keep from jumping completely off the deep end and drowning my sorrows in a box of Dunkin' Donuts.

Now I'm going to try to get some exercise in before the day is over. I hear it can be a great stress buster....

Thursday, February 24, 2011

I give up

Nothing I am doing is working. I can't seem to get things moving any longer. I try so hard and then I fail and then I feel like failure. And I just can't emotionally take it any longer. Now that my husband is working and we're juggling the boy back and forth it feels like I have no time to cook any more. We can't afford for me to make 3 different dinners every night anymore. My son is losing weight again and I have to encourage him to eat. It doesn't matter what he's eating so long as he actually swallows at this point. Tonight all he had for dinner was apple slices. about 10 calories worth of apple slices.
I should have made Hamburger Helper for him. I know he would have eaten some of it. I didn't make it for him because my husband wasn't home and it seemed like a lot of food for a 2 year old and I didn't want to eat it. So I made him a couple of chicken nuggets and had the apple on the side along with some banana.
He ate the apple.
I know, there are parents who are reading passing judgment on me as they read this.
They are saying to themselves "why is she feeding her child junk?" "that's not a healthy meal for a preschooler" "kids don't need to eat that processed garbage anymore than we do"
Yeah, and before I became the mother to my son I would have agreed with you too.
But you've never had to deal with a child on the verge of failure to thrive. My son will go for days without eating. If it wasn't for the Pediasure he gets everyday I don't know what I would do. He will only eat high fat easy to chew meat. Chicken nuggets, hamburgers and hot dogs are staples. He will chew and stash chicken breast in his cheeks until he's in danger of choking. He will chew beef and spit out the meat once all the flavor and juices have been sucked from it. Pasta is hit or miss, depending on his mood. Vegetables are a no go, even though I put them on his plate every single time.
The only fruits he'll eat are apples and bananas and raisins. I try to include one of these with every meal. I give him the veggie juice and try to make healthier choices, whole wheat pastas for example. (by the way the Hamburger Helper in my cupboard is the whole wheat version, still not the best but better...)
But it's not easy. It's never been easy. And the bones are showing in his back and he's going on 3 and still wearing size 24 month old pants. And some of them are big still.
I don't have the energy to simultaneously make sure that he is getting enough while making sure I am not getting too much.
Plus - he eats better if he sees me eating the same food he is.
I might be catastrophizing this. I know he's had a cold for the last week, he's done this before, and he'll likely start eating again any day now.
I don't want to use this as an excuse to eat whatever I want...
But I just can't put the same focus on my diet right now that I did last year at this time.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

A new challenge...

Latest Weigh in: 221.0

So I didn't quite reach my goal, but I did lose. I"m not going to quit. I will persevere. In fact I decided to join a weight loss challenge that my work is running. I have two of my bestest work girlfriends joining me for our team. I need to come up with a name for our team though... any ideas?

The boy is sick so I don't have much time. I hope you are all well and I just wanted to pop on and say that I'm still here and still reading your posts and soon I'll have time to write a real post.

At least I hope I will have the time soon.

Love yourself!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

America should not run on Dunkin'

Weight today 221.0

I messed up. I've been home potty training the boy for the last 4 days. (it's going well, better than I expected at this point). The problem is that all of my focus and energy has to be on my son and his bladder at the moment. I can't leave him alone for 40 minutes to go cook a healthy meal. I knew this going in and I thought I was prepared. What I wasn't prepared for was how tired I have become. So yesterday I had a bad moment where I ate a handful of chocolate candy leftover from Christmas and this morning I ran to Dunkin Donuts to pick up breakfast before my husband went to work. I got myself a egg white wrap and coffee and my husband a egg and cheese sandwich. I ordered 2 donuts, one for my son and one for my husband but the girl behind the counter made me buy 6 because she said it was cheaper to buy 6 than 2...I don't get it but I guess it's some sort of evil genius marketing ploy. Fine whatever, I still haven't had my coffee yet and I really need to get home, so I figure the boys will have extra donuts. When I get home I find out that my husband doesn't like the kind of donuts I picked out. He only likes cake donuts... I never knew he was such an aficionado of fried dough before. The boy also turned his little button nose up at them. I should have just thrown them away at that point in the game. That would have been the smart thing to do. But my sleep deprived malnutrition-ed brain made the bizarre twist and leap of logic that I was going to have to eat them. And since I've been home alone most of the day I have eaten 4 of them so far. The rest I'm trashing right now because I am utterly ashamed of myself and feel kind of sick over it.

If I ever win the mega millions I am going to take some of that money and open a low carb fast food joint so that people like me don't have to peel buns off their burgers or try to figure out what the hell they're going to eat if they just don't feel like cooking. I can't be the only one who just wants something easy once in a while...

Thursday, February 3, 2011

I haven’t been online much these last few days. I’ve been very busy becoming a NEW AUNT!

My baby sister had her baby on 1/22 and I’ve been a little preoccupied with Little Peanut.

I’m also battling my very own case of baby fever. (YIKES!)

My head says we can’t afford another little one right now and I really want to get back to my goal weight BEFORE getting pregnant again so it’s just going to have to wait.

My heart says babies are so freaking cute and precious and I’m not getting any younger and The Boy could really use a little brother or sister….

We’re not doing anything to stop it from happening per se…but it takes a bit of planning for me to get pregnant and we’re not doing the things we needed to do last time. So I guess I’ll just leave it in God’s hands for now. If He wants us to have another little one to raise, He’ll find a way to make it happen.

AS far as my weight goes, I was doing great, well maybe not great… but I was still losing up until Tuesday when it came time for my weigh in. I WAS down a pound on Sunday at 222.5 but then I went back up to 223.2. I originally chalked that up to sodium since I had spam and eggs the night before for dinner, but then today I was at 225. WTF!!! I must be getting ready to welcome Aunt Flo for a visit. It seems like it’s been about a month since I last saw her, so that HAS to be the reason.

One thing I am not doing is letting my frustration with the scale throw me off of my plan. If anything I will use it as motivation to step up my game. I may have to track my calories for a couple of days to get a clearer picture of what I’m eating. Increase my water intake. Run around with The Boy a little more at night.

In the past a bad weigh in like that would have sent me face first into the tub of sugar cookies I have in the kitchen for Husband and The Boy. Not this time though, and I’m very proud of myself for that.

OH! I almost forgot!

I have a non-scale victory to report. I was putting away some clothes and decided just for the heck of it to try on a pair of jeans that I haven’t worn for YEARS because they are a size 14. And they FIT. Well almost fit. If I’m honest about it I’ll admit that they are a little tight in the thighs and bootie, but the main thing is I can get them on and zipped without having to hold my breath. I was so happy I completely ignored the fact that my ass looked like a sausage about to burst and wore them all day long.

This upcoming weekend is D-day for potty training, I’m ridiculously excited about that and apologize in advance if my enthusiasm causes me to over share the next few days.

That’s it for me, friends!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Report card time

Weight this morning: 223.5
Grade for the week- C+

When I was in school, I heard many of my teachers lament about how little effort I put into my work. They accused me of “skating by on my natural intelligence”. I was able to get the right answers without trying very hard, and never really gave back more than the bare minimum that was asked of me. I remember if given a 500 word essay I would keep count and only submit 500 words. If I had to make it 5 pages, I would adjust margins and font size until I got a 5th page filled. In math class I rarely “showed my work” and I almost never raised my hand. Since technically the work I submitted was correct they couldn’t fail me, but they rarely gave me a grade higher than a B.

I think my teachers thought I was lazy, though if I could tell them now, the truth is that I was bored. I didn’t really see the point to a lot of what I was studying in high school. I still don’t really. I can’t remember the last time I had to figure a differential equation. I don’t recall ever needing to know when the French Indian war ended.

The same sort of apathy I had about my studies in high school is creeping into my plans to lose weight. I’m not putting in the effort that I should be to see top notch results. There is a part of my brain that I am convinced is still a surly adolescent who just doesn’t see the point in putting in hard work when she can just skate by and “maintain”. She complains about having to exercise, puts in the bare minimum effort. She cheats on her food allowances, justifies errors and hides her mistakes.

So it’s no wonder that I’m not seeing the results I want. I know that I can do better than this. I want to do better than this. I even know how to do better than this.

So why did I find myself in the kitchen when my husband was giving my son his bath stuffing a cookie into my mouth last week? Why did I eat the last spoonful of rice when I was dishing out dinner last night before bringing the plates to the table? Why am I still hitting the snooze alarm rather than getting up and exercising in the morning?

I guess what I don’t know, is how to make what is in my head and heart translate into action. Maybe I need more structure. Maybe I need more accountability.

I think it might help if I forget the bigger picture for a while and just focus on smaller projects, shorter term goals that will get me closer to the overall result that I want to achieve. I’m figuring that if all goes according to plan this year, I would like to lose another 40-50 pounds. This would mean that I would start 2012 at what I consider to be my ideal weight. But that is so far away and such an abstract concept for me at this point and I’m simply not doing what I need to do to get there and I think if I don’t change something I’ll have another year of not quite meeting my personal goals again.

So here is my first attempt at breaking it down. By February 14 (Valentine’s Day) I want to achieve the following-
• Lose 5 pounds bring my weight down to 218
• Cut and color my hair
• Complete at least 8 20 minute workouts in the morning.
• Complete at least 8 30 minute workouts in the evening.

I remember as a young girl I was always told that you have to love yourself before you can expect anyone else in this world to love you. So this year for Valentine’s Day I’m giving myself a little tough love. I’m going to prove to myself that I do think I’m worth more.
I’m going to put in the “A” effort.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Getting over that hurdle.

Weigh in this morning: 221.4

Mood: Overall fairly positive.

I think I am finally breaking free from the damage I did over the last few months. I’m tempted (extremely tempted) top try to blame my recent fall off the wagon on the holidays, but I know it was more than that and started well before “holiday season”.

I’ve been able to leave the carbs alone completely the last few days, I think this is because I stocked up on acceptable items. I find when I’m ready to snack, I have to have a low carb alternative ready and waiting for me. I’m still not quite over my cravings for sweets, but I know that will come in time if I’m consistent. I’m hoping I can keep it up consistently for at least another week. I feel like it will take about one more week before I reach that sweet spot where I can eat my foods without thinking about the other stuff around me, or even really wanting it. *Fingers crossed*

In other news - I ended up breaking a tooth 2 nights ago. It was an old root canal that I never got a crown for and I guess the tooth became brittle as a result. So now I have to get a post and crown put in. So much for saving cash this year….

I’m also on the hunt for a potty training method for my son. The boy is frustrating me. I can get him to sit on the potty chair, but not actually go potty in it. For instance the other night I asked him to use the potty before his bath time. He sat on it, made a “pisssssssss” sound with his mouth, said “No, don’t have to” got up and went into the living room where he pee’d all over my hardwood floor. At least he was courteous enough to avoid the carpet, I suppose. I’m at a loss for how to go about this because he has sensory integration disorder and I’m not certain that he feels when he needs to go the same way other kids do. He has problems with body awareness in that he doesn’t always realize when he’s hungry, thirsty, hot, cold etc until it’s imperative. He often goes for hours without eating and then suddenly a switch will flip and he’ll start screaming that it’s “TIME TO EAT!!” Anyway, if anyone has any ideas or suggestions, I’m all ears. He’s going to be 3 in April and I would really like to have him at least starting to use the toilet by his birthday…

That’s it for me today folks.

Be well!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Change is good.

There is something inside of me that is changing. I’m growing, maturing and gaining strength. For most of my life I have had an awful habit of second guessing myself. I felt timid and shy; secretly believing that I wasn’t “good enough”. I didn’t believe love would ever come my way. I never thought that I deserved to better things in life. That’s changing now. As I grow older I am finding a desire to give myself the nurturing that I clearly missed out on earlier in life. My husband and son have taught me so much about what it means to love and be loved in return. I know I am not the best wife or the perfect mother, but still they love me just the same and that is a wonderful safety net.

Now that I have the comfort of knowing that I can mess up, that I don’t have to be perfect; I feel empowered and more confident to take steps I was too afraid to take before. I still have a long way to go, but I believe I can do it. I believe that I deserve it.

I’m still sick and battling a terrible cold. I rarely ever get sick and I really don’t handle it very well. I’ve been a bit of a baby lately but I’m still doing the best that I can.

I found out that my job is (most likely) safe for at least another year. Which is a relief, but I still don’t have the feeling of genuine job security that I had prior to the merger. At least I can relax a little and I have time to try to sock away as much money as I can in the meantime. Part of me was looking forward to a lay off, I was hoping to be able to take a break from the 9-5 for a couple of months and just hang with the boy. They were going to give me 12 weeks of severance pay if they laid me off this year as part of the contract for the merger, not a bad sum to bum around for the summer on. Since they are keeping me longer, I’ll only get a measly 6 weeks if they decide to lay me off after November 1st. So I’m really hoping that means they don’t plan to lay anyone else off for some time to come, because if I miss out on the extra severance pay by only a month or two I’ll be royally pissed.

I’m doing okay with the food. Yesterday would have been perfect except that I woke up in the middle of the night with a pukey stomach due to the severe nasal drip I’ve had, so I ate a couple of my son’s graham crackers to help settle my stomach. If I can just kick this cold I think I’ll be right on track.

I hope you all are having success meeting your goals so far this year!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Soul Searching

There a certain blogger who asks us the question “why do you do this?” every week. I look forward to these posts because I always find it so wonderful and inspirational to see the why behind everyone’s efforts. It’s not easy to do this, it very hard and can be a struggle more often than not. We deprive ourselves and push our bodies and quite literally fight against years of ingrained habit.

To be successful at anything this difficult one has to be highly motivated. So what motivates a person to turn their lifestyle (and quite often the lifestyle of their entire family) completely upside down? What will motivate me to do it?

This is a question burning in the back of my mind right now. If I am completely honest I have a serious motivation problem at the moment. It’s not that I don’t want the results; I really do want my young hot body back. I’m just finding it incredibly difficult to find the will to take the small steps that will eventually add up to the big result.

I seem to be sputtering along this journey while so many others are motoring along at a nice even pace. As soon as I start to gain some steam, my engine stalls. I’m driving a Jalopy, my body is a lemon and I’m being passed by dozens of young sporty models who have nicely tuned engines and a seemingly endless supply of fuel.

So I find myself these days disheartened somewhat. I’m wondering if I can even do this. If it’s even worth the effort it takes anymore. I thought that my health would be a factor, so I went to the doctor hoping to be scared straight. Turns out I’m a very healthy obese person. Blood pressure is normal, triglycerides are good, and blood sugar is healthy….

The doctor should have lied to me, told me I was pre-diabetic or that I had high cholesterol or something.

I tried dozens of times to quit smoking because it was “unhealthy” but I was never successful at doing it until I got pregnant and the abstract health consequences became a concrete right here, right now kind of need.

It makes me angry to see little or no change when I put in a good week. It makes me more jealous than I care to admit when I see other folks losing 5 pounds a week consistently. I have seen people who started off almost a hundred pounds heavier than me pass me by. While I’m applauding their success I can’t help but turn inward at the same time and wonder what the hell I’m doing wrong, why can’t I make it happen? If they can do it why can’t I?

Then it occurs to me that I can do it. I might be driving a hooptie car, but it still runs. It might take me longer to arrive at the party, but I’ll still get there eventually. As long as I have good friends around me to give me a jump start from time to time I’ll be just fine.

My journey is just that – my journey. It’s no one else’s. I cannot compare my success or failures to others. I will get there in my own time, my own way. I will sputter and stall and kick the tires along the way. But I will also make repairs along the way, buy the premium gas and get the engine cleaned and replace a few belts and hoses that are worn out. I’ll take the time to get some much needed body work done. By the time I arrive I’ll look almost as good as new.

I guess what is motivating me to not give up is that, while I may have the body of an old beat-up truck, I have the heart and soul of a hotrod. I am bound and determined to make the outside match the me that is inside again.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Home Sick

I called out sick from work today. At first I was planning to fake it because I had no one to watch the boy. But then last night I actually got the worst sore throat of my life. So I didn't even have to lie this morning when I left the message that I was not going to be in today.

I have no desire or energy to clean, so while I really should be putting away Christmas today, I decided instead to try to figure out this whole twitter thing. So I opened an account. Those of you I could find, I followed. But I was really having a hard time figuring the whole thing out. If you want me to follow you, just hit the button that I put at the top of my blog and follow me. I promise I will follow you back.

Due to the illness, I haven't been completely at all on plan. I wish I could tell you the worst thing I had today were Sucrets. But I can't. I'm cutting myself a little slack though because it really does hurt to swallow, especially meat. So I'm eating mostly mushy soft stuff, which unfortunately isn't really low carb.

Then again, when it hurts to eat, how much does one generally consume?

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

So far, so good...

Today's official Tuesday weigh in - 225.2
I'm still up from my lowest weight but down a couple of pounds from what I started the year at.

I'm home today with my little boy who has a winter bug. My sister in law normally watches him, but she's out of town this week so my husband and I are trading days off, each working half the week. I guess it worked out well because since he's not feeling well he's been exceptionally clingy (even regressing to wanting me to sleep with him all night), so he probably wants his mommy a little more than typical. It's not working out in the sense that I had hoped to get so much more accomplished with my time off, like organize my apartment finally...

I'm feeling like I'm in desperate need of a makeover. Not just my weight, but all over. I have succumbed to the mommy syndrome of taking care of everyone but myself. I need to change this. I need to learn that I deserve to be taken care of too. So I am going to find time to go through my wardrobe and have a make-believe "what not to wear" session in my bedroom this weekend and throw out half of my clothes.
I would have to guess that most of what I own either doesn't fit properly anymore or is hopelessly out of date. I have more clothes than I have room for, yet I have nothing to wear most days. Then I will buy the key items I find I need to round out and update my wardrobe one at a time over the next year. I think this simple (though not easy) step will go a long way in making me feel like an attractive, fashionable woman again. And it gives me a built in system of non-food rewards. So instead of celebrating with a Latte and a cupcake, I can celebrate with a new belt or a pretty camisole.

By 2012 I'll be so damn hot my hubby won't know what hit him!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

A Fresh Start

Happy New Year!

I love new year's because it represents a fresh start. All of the things that went wrong over the recent past can be forgotten and let go. For me it's a time to forgive and forget, not only the slights that others have dealt me, but also for my own shortcomings.  I don't really make resolutions so much as I try to cleanse myself of unwanted baggage. My weight has been some pretty heavy baggage for some time. 

I accomplished a lot towards my weight-loss goals in 2010, but I got derailed about halfway through and lost sight of what I was trying to accomplish. 
To be perfectly honest, 2010 sucked big time.
But that is all behind me now, 2010 is over and 2011 is a brand new year, a year ripe with possibilities for positive changes.
I'm starting out the year at 228 pounds. I gained about 10 pounds back. But I can lose them and more this time around.
Today was a good food day. I watched my carbs all day and aside from a very small bite of cookie (I forgot for a second) I consumed no sugar. Now I just have to have 363 more days exactly like this one.
And since it's a new year, I decided to go with a new look for my page. I'm not sure that I"m done fiddling with it, but I do like it a lot better now. Hopefully someday it will look as good as all of your blogs do.

Here's hoping for a healthy and prosperous new year!