It's been a week since my husband finally got a job. I am grateful for the income, we certainly need it.
I miss having my husband at home all day while I'm at work. It was really kind of nice having a house -husband.
He was able to take care of our son so we didn't have to rely on a non-parent to raise him.
He was able to run errends like going to the post office or picking up milk.
He would get dinner started for me occasionally so I didn't have to.
I was able to call him periodically throughout the day to talk.
He would do the laundry and the dishes while I was at work.
If I asked him to he would straighten up the apartment a bit.
But now he's not there, and my MIL is watching my son. She is really doing us a huge favor and I'm trying to have a grateful heart about it.... but deep down I really resent it and it's driving me crazy. I hate that she is spending so much more time with him than i am. I'm totally jealous and it really sucks. Plus I can't just pick him up and go, noooo I have to do a mini-visit. And yesterday she let him take a nap at 5:00. And my ding bat husband listened to her when she told him to "let him sleep a little" when he went to pick him up and he napped until 6:10. So when they finally got home at 6:30, Sak was cranky and wanted nothing to do with the dinner I cooked, threw a tantrum when it was time to take a bath, and tossed and turned in bed for 45 minutes before finally falling asleep around 10pm. I was annoyed, but I held my tongue.
I have a mountain of laundry waiting for me when I get home tonight. I want to get it done because I'm taking SAK to visit my sister who is expecting my first neice in January tomorrow. We're going to go to a nice little farm and drink apple cider and have a pony ride. And Hubby doesn't want to come with us because it's a 2 hour drive each way and he doesn't want to spend his day off in the car. I understand that, but I really would like to be able to spend some quality family time together. So I'm irritated about that too.
And the next bit here is a bit TMI so here's your fair warning....
We've hit a bit of a dry spell in the "romance" department. We just haven't been able to get in synch lately where we both want to at the same time for awhile. Whenever that happens I start feeling insecure and vulnerable, even if I know it doesn't really mean anything. I guess "romance" for me is validation that things are good between us and that he loves and cherishes me and when we haven't been "romantic" for awhile it's harder to keep the self-hating negative thoughts at bay.
I'll get over it, I just need time I think to adjust to the new routine.