Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Because I like to sleep...

Ah parenthood…

So my son has finally broken my spirit. It was a devious plan. He began waking up a little early, just before I would get up for work around 6:30. The he started waking at 5am. So I would bring him into bed with us to snuggle for a bit and sometimes he would fall back to sleep. Then out of the blue he woke up at 3 am and I said to myself, no way, he’s going to have to cry it out. I got up checked on him laid him back down in the crib and left him there. He cried until 5am at which point I cracked and got him up and put him in bed with us. Then he started doing that earlier and earlier. 2 am… 1 am…. 11 pm ….etc.

NOW he won’t sleep in his crib AT ALL anymore.

I know I know I made a mistake I never should have brought him into bed with us that first night but I have to work and I needed my sleep too. And besides, how was I to know that my kid was a genius and had been plotting the invasion of mommy and daddy’s bed for months in advance?

Not our real feet....
 So needless to say I’m trying to figure out how to undo the damage I’ve inadvertently done. We were planning to make the move into a big boy’s bed next month anyway, so I’ve decided to push that up by a few weeks and we’re going to go buy it on Friday. Once his bed is all set-up in his room we’re going to start sleep training him to stay in it. I think it’s more logical to do it this way so that I’m not getting him to sleep in his crib again and then taking it away from him…

I’m just not sure how to do it. I’m not a mean mommy. I hate to hear him upset. It makes me feel physically ill. And from what I understand I can expect a lot of tears and why mommies and sleepless nights while we undertake this. SO I want to hear from all the mommies out there in blogland… what’s the best way to do this? I never had to sleep train him as an infant, he always just went to sleep on his own. Nights here or there of crying of course but never on this scale.

Do I-

a. Start off sleeping in his big boy bed with him and gradually wean him off of having me there.

b. Stay with him in bed until he falls asleep and then sneak out hoping he doesn’t wake up.

c. Tuck him in, snuggle, read a story and leave while he’s still awake. And just bring him back to bed each time he gets up amid tears and protests. (super nanny style)

d. Put him to bed, lock the door so he can’t get out and put him back in his bed at increasingly longer intervals, after 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes, etc. until he collapses from exhaustion. (Ferber method)

I think I would like to try option B, but I think that C has the best chance of providing consistent results faster.

I just want to be able to have that hour or two in the evening with my husband and get a good night sleep without causing my son psychological damage. Is that too much to ask?


  1. When my son was around that age (he's 11 now) I dd a-c. The one that worked the best for both of us was b. Granted sometimes he would wake but for teh majority of the time he would stay asleep. I always praised him in the morning. Congratulating him on sleeping alone in his big boy bed all night.

    D sounds a bit crazy for me. I don't know how I feel about locking my child in his room. That is a bit too much for me.


  2. There will be no psychological damage. :)

    Just don't do D.

    We have a bedtime ritual, as well as a wake up ritual that lets them spend a lot of time with us. We get jammies on, brush our teeth, get a drink, say prayers & read scriptures, read for 10 minutes (heads on the pillow) Lights out and sing songs for 5-10 minutes. It takes about a half an hour.

    Then in the morning we snuggle for 10-15 minutes, read scriptures and say prayers, THEN get dressed, eat bkfst and on to the craziness of our day.

    If prayers/scriptures aren't your thing then maybe yoga together or meditation. Even talking about how the day went in the evening and how it is going to go in the morning can really help the direction of the day.

    I've found it's the time with me they want. Now, we start the routine for bed, and they get drowsy. Pavlov's method. ;)