I am really unmotivated right now.
And I’m not just talking about weight-loss. I’m pretty much unmotivated to do anything at the moment. I have a ton of work on my plate at the office and I don’t even want to begin to sort through it all. I have to clean my apartment in the worst way and I keep putting it off. I haven’t even started my Christmas shopping yet. I have bill collectors calling me because I procrastinated sending out all of our bills this month.
I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. The only thing I want to do right now is spend a day or three wrapped up in a warm blanket and read a good book. Alone. With no interruptions.
Tomorrow is my 4th wedding anniversary. I love my husband very much. He’s a good man. In many ways he’s superior to most other guys. He takes on a lot of the childcare. He does laundry and cleans the bathrooms. He loves me more than anything else in the world. I’m taking some time off tomorrow and my mom is watching the boy so we can spend some time as just man and wife and not mom and dad. This is good. We need this time. We should have more of this time together as a couple. We don’t get enough.
I’m nervous about leaving my son though. So far he’s been okay, despite the return of the head tilt yesterday, he seems fine so far. So I’m not cancelling our date, but in my mind I’ve already put myself on stand-by alert. I am hoping that after today, if he still seems normal that I will be able to believe we dodged a bullet and finally relax again.
And I’m hungry today. I forgot that I was out of egg beaters at work so all I had was a cup of coffee. And I have a box of cereal that I’m not allowed to eat staring me in the face. And I have a chicken parm lean pocket in the freezer- also off limits. And it’s only 10:30 and I have 2 hours before my lunch break. I might have to sneak out early.
I definitely have my cranky pants on this morning.