So I did it! Yesterday evening I finally got around to taking my first set of progress pics. I’m thinking of these as my before picture. (Even though it’s after losing about 30 pounds. )
I was sitting in from of the computer after I put SAK to bed and reading all of your wonderful, motivational posts and jumped from my seat and made my husband take my picture.
Me: I want you to take my picutre for my blog, I need fat pictures to compare as I'm loosing weight...
Him: Right now? (he was trying to watch the Yankees game)
Me: Yes because if I don’t do it right now I’ll chicken out….besides there’s a rain delay what else have you got to do?
Him: I'm not sure I want your face on the internet...
Me: Too late, already out there. So are you and SAK by the way....Don't worry though I'm not using names
Him: How far back should I go?
Me. Just get my whole body in the shot.
Him: Are you sure? I don't think it will fit...(smart ass)
he starts backing up farther and farther....
Me: Turn the camera sideways...
He turns the camera and snaps the picture, shows it to me
Him: Is this okay?
Me (completely disgusted by it): yeah that's fine. One more sideways....
It took me so long to finally get up the courage to do it. Mostly I think it’s because my own mental projection of “me” doesn’t look anything like that. I look at myself in the mirror every day. But I don’t see myself. Until I see a picture. A photograph. Why is it different? I don’t know. It’s weird. I know I’m not alone in this, I’ve heard others across the blogosphere mentioning the same phenomenon.
Because of the shock I get when I see myself in pictures, I have been avoiding being photographed, which is creating one of the saddest parts of living with obesity for me. I am notably absent from many family photos because I avoid cameras as much as possible.
No more. Now that I’ve broken the ice and taken the picture (and posted it here for all of God’s people to see…) I am going to use this to motivate me for change. I want my picture to look like the mental picture I have of myself.
And it will. I can do this. No more excuses.